Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I just have to be difficult

Okay, you're about to read a startling post from the ONE person like me on earth, probably...at least until the critique gestapo comes after me and wipes out my sole voice in the darkness.

You're looking at the one person who didn't like the movie "Sideways."

Yes, I know, Roger Ebert shrieked," Happiness is distributed where needed and withheld where deserved, and at the end of the movie we feel like seeing it again." Uh, NO Roger...the only thing withheld is 127 minutes of my life I'll never get back. What a frigging ponderous piece of SHITE that movie was! I have no idea what all of you Pods see in it!
Don't get me wrong, despite Thomas Hayden Church's penchant for playing despicable characters, I actually love his acting, his look, his voice. Paul Giamatti is harmless enough...but I think I liked him better as "Pig Vomit," myself. But together as these characters, they are both so supremely irritating that I just wanted to scream. There is hardly ANYthing likeable about them. THC's character is a total ass, which is intended, but I got the idea that we're supposed to empathize with PG's character...a failed writer who spends his nights swilling wine under the guise of being a "oenophile." Shyah, right. Anyway, I won't er..."ruin" it for the rest of the unwashed like me who haven't seen the movie, but lets suffice to say that I found the ending of the movie senseless and finally, trite. I didn't feel resolution, just irritation. Oh, and I hate wine, and lets just say that this movie didn't stir a need in me to race out and buy a case of Pinot, either.

Okay, I doubt that anyone's gonna be beating down my door asking my opinion, but let me just shout out, "The Emperor Has No Clothes!!" So that the rest of the world can finally feel that is possible that just because a movie bears the Moniker "Indie" or is labeled "Limited release" does NOT mean that the movie is good.

That is all.

Let the crucifixion begin!!

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